Tag Archives: satire

In heaven there is no laundry

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In heaven there is no laundry
–said the old priest —
no dishes to wash
no vacuuming
no gassing up the car
or washing it.

You will never have to
find your glasses or blow your nose.

There is no sex
no diddling or caressing
no poker
no beer or brats to burn.

There will be daily choir practice
to drown out the constant
droning preachers.

Now and then
you may catch a glimpse of God
scurrying about
creating universes
and destroying them.

There will be weekend excursions
to Hell
for a quick getaway.

Conversation in the time of paranoia

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“There’s no time,” she said,
“Any moment now will be
the too-late moment.”

“Can’t we tell
ahead of time?” I said.

“Don’t be an idiot,” she said

“Well,” I said, “that certainly
narrows down the possibilities,
with idiot ruled out.”

“Now you’re just being a jerk.”

“What, that’s not allowed either?”

Lazarus

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And Martha says to Jesus,
‘So how long is this resurrection
good for?’
‘Hard to say,’ says Jesus.
‘Why?’

Martha pours him
another glass of wine.

‘It’s just that he won’t stop
talking about it,
how he’s your favorite,
how you don’t raise

just anyone
from the dead.’

Jesus drains his glass,
reaches for the bottle.

‘I might be able to get him a job
in Cyprus.’

Psalm

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The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want

I shall not want for tribulation
For the flock is scattered
Their bleating goes unheard
Wolves nibble at the corners
With no fear of hindrance
I shall not want for tribulation
For the armies of God surround me
They have raised up the banners
Of loathing in every direction
And lo the sheep crawl
In slavish obeisance
I shall not want for tribulation
Even the dogs have abandoned us
As the shepherd sleeps off His cosmic binge
I shall walk through the valley
Of the shadow of death
Eyes closed
Fingers in my ears

Senryu: Shame

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Every day, as a poet,
I live with the shame
that my life has not been miserable