Regret nothing? You must be joking.
Regret all of it, wallow in it,
Hate yourself. Feel it searing your heart
Like the barrel of a spent machine gun.
How could you have been such an absolute brick?
How could any organism have survived
Millions of years of primate evolution
Only to humiliate the very worms from which it rose?
An oily spasm of muck would have done better.
A cabal of ooze would recoil from your touch;
Your slime would contaminate the corridors of Hell.
You could not rise to the dignity of a snake fart.
Ichor trails your every step.
A stench rises…
Why are you laughing?