Why do things always go to hell
In a handbasket?
Why not a rucksack, or a bicycle?
For that matter, why not a sailboat?

That way, they could be
Three sheets to the wind
Or at least two.

Then it wouldn’t matter
If they were up the creek
Without a paddle.

Unless we’ve cleared the deck,
So all hands could be on it.
In a situation like that,
Kids who have grown another foot
Since we saw them last would come in
Handy.

Unless they just fell off a turnip truck.

Has anyone ever seen a turnip truck?
Come to that,
A truck hauling ass,
In a donkey’s age?

But enough horsing around
Going forward.