The big Was

First, the big Was, expanding suddenly
Too quick to glow, too far to measure
Like blood coagulates, in lumps, relentless

Blind recognition yearning to recombine
Into the breadth-less infinite, one by one,
Across the fleeing everness

It was the lumps, after all, without them
Nothing is born, nothing dies
The lumps, flailing, contact and contract

Lend each other mass and meaning
Become vast in becoming spent
In the large and slow entropic resistance

Fragments of causation forgoing randomness
Blinding recapitulation, a first worm wriggles
Your father, my son, your mother, too

Born in that salty swilling dawn
Descending on down time’s narrow tunnel
Until all that’s left is dawn

I heard of a shaman

I heard of a shaman
Who learned a peyote song
From the generator of his car
On the way to the ceremony
At which he sang full throated
The lesson of the Burning Way

The only summers I remember

The only summers I remember
Were so long ago the moss grew
And contracted, gray and brittle of
Such age and unworthiness

Grassy refuge fell and tumbled house
Disappeared from reality
Mists grew before eyes unable
Or unworthy to let go

The only summers worth summoning
Seem to pull yet further as fall
Without shame intervenes
And treeless leaves gather

And blow begone with no regard
For foot-dragging eye-squinting
Mumble-dim revision
Or re-visioning

The only summers’ slowly fading
Leaving traces only
Flickering transitory ghosts
But the worst of it is the sheer

Lack of spectacle the way lovers long gone
Become mere characters in your story

Moi

Here I sit
Just a big lump of protoplasm
Encased in plant fiber and animal hide
No more purpose or meaning
Than a slime mold

No, a slime mold
Is at least interesting
Assembling and disassembling
To suit the moment

Bright yellow
Daring any living thing
To do something about it

Daring me
To be more than that
Or at least
That

The way life used to be

Summer mornings, when I was very young
My father would announce an outing
And my mother packed a lunch
And gathered up my infant sister

My older brothers, eye-rolling
And infinitely wise, despairing of
The younger generation
Gathered necessities defined by long
(several weeks)
Tradition and off we trundled

Those days, people walked
And so did we
Past shoe shops and drugstores
(always a brief, longing pause)
Hill high houses and pooched porches
Scraggle lawn-bare bungalows
Vacant lots, still equipped
With bottle bases and cardboard home plates
And the occasional mildewed fielder’s mitt
Wantonly discarded in a fit of pique

Past milk jugs left in sun-swept doorways
Cars on concrete blocks, their wheels
Unseen and unimagined

Down past side streets and alleyways
And trellised garden glimpses
Down to the parkway past
The big-bricked library
Packed from floor to ceiling
With adventure, intrigue,
Piracy and noble experiment,
With love and loss,
With everything that was not us
On summer mornings

Across the broad car-fringed roadway we went
To a certain large elm
Strewn about with green immortal grass
And laid out our blankets
Ate our lunch
And dozed the day away
My brothers off on some creek-filled adventure

Was life unkind?
Probably, obliviously, inobviously,
And perfectly.