Tag Archives: satire

Regret

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Regret nothing? You must be joking.
Regret all of it, wallow in it,
Hate yourself. Feel it searing your heart
Like the barrel of a spent machine gun.

How could you have been such an absolute brick?
How could any organism have survived
Millions of years of primate evolution
Only to humiliate the very worms from which it rose?

An oily spasm of muck would have done better.
A cabal of ooze would recoil from your touch;
Your slime would contaminate the corridors of Hell.
You could not rise to the dignity of a snake fart.

Ichor trails your every step.
A stench rises…

Why are you laughing?

Song to Bobby

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I first posted this 4 years ago.  Here’s a reprisal in honor of Bob’s Nobel.  After “Song to Woody” by B. Dylan

Hey, Bobby Dylan I wrote you a song
It ain’t very short, on account of it’s long
‘Bout the songs that you wrote when you were a sprout
And the trouble it was to figure them out

So here’s to Dave and to Eric and the rest of your buds
And to the bottles and pints of delectable suds
That you downed with your pals all through those years
I’m surprised you’re still with us after all of them beers

Well I wonder what “Maggie’s farm’s” singing of
Or what “statues made of matchsticks” have to do with true love
I’ve often suspected that most of the time
That there’s nothing you won’t do for the sake of a rhyme

But, hey, Bobby Dylan I know that you know
This stuff I’m a-saying is pretty dang low
Considering how many folks you’ve inspired
Though exactly for what I’ve often inquired

There ain’t no good reason for another damn verse
But I said this was long for better or worse
Here’s my big chance for a Bob Dylan rhyme
So the graveyards and box cutters, all for a dime

Why whales beach themselves

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Once, long ago,
Whales lived on the land
With their cousins, the humans

There was sunshine
And rain so gentle it caressed
The thin and delicate skins
Of men and whales alike.
 
They cavorted together,
If you can imagine a creature
So ungainly
As a human
Cavorting.

There was plenty to eat.
Winged seeds, and tiny flying shrimp
Were everywhere.
All you had to do was open your mouth,
Sit back,
And nourishing goodness filled your body.

Then humans hatched a plan.
They would knock down the bounty
That was free to all
Collect it
And hide it away for themselves.

Naturally, God was annoyed.
All the goodness he had spread
Was gathered in dark pits,
Hidden away and guarded.

But humans blamed the whales,
And God was not experienced in deceit.
So he banished the whales,
And doomed them to swim forever.

Still, some great and wise whales remember,
And fling themselves back on the land to die.

The damned humans, of course,
Put them back in the water.